Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Every mom can admit that she factors in style when choosing things for her baby. But that's usually reserved for our choice of clothing, stroller, highchair and the like. While the diaper has always been strictly about function and cost, Huggies is trying to appeal to the hip mom inside us. What does this new trend say about motherhood today? Would you buy these jean diapers?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
But how can you not notice the attire of the mother pointing out the inappropriateness of the new Barbie? Seems she's more worried about the plastic figurine than real life role-models for our daughters. Get with the program!
Monday, May 24, 2010
|The Jewish Woman’s 10 Commandments|
By Mimi Hecht
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
By Mimi Hecht
Mother’s Day for the Childless
This Mother’s Day is my first since giving birth to my son and officially joining the world of mommy-hood. Sitting at my laptop, all the emotional flower ads and excited Facebook posts make me feel like I’m at a Mother’s Day brunch, so I don’t feel bad that I’m spending the day trying to meet my column deadline.
As a mom-blogger, I know my article has to be a about the importance of today. But with every article, post and “tweet” giving millions of moms a platform, I find the need to use this Mother’s Day to become a voice for the women who aren’t making Mother’s Day’s front page.
As the world lauds the importance and fulfillment of motherhood, we are surrounded by the silence of women who pass every prayer-filled day being denied the gift of children. For women who face the anguish of infertility, Mother’s Day is not a festivity, but a lively reminder of a role they so badly want to fill. For them, late April and early May is a hellish season, filled with inescapable banners and fliers in every grocery store, restaurant and mall – all reminding them of what should be or could have been. As heartfelt Mother’s Day poems fill their inboxes and their friends relish in recognizing the joy in being mommies, the childless woman is alone, left only with her imagination and unanswered tears.
I can’t help but feel an extra dose of grief on behalf of women in the Orthodox-Jewish community who are experiencing difficulty conceiving. In a society where having large families is praised and it is common for women to show belly-bumps just months after marriage, the childless woman’s ache cannot rest. She is forever forced to confront her insuppressible yearning when spending time with friends who have babies, listening to a Rebbetzin highlight the centricity of creating a family or simply being asked a common question: “How many kids do you have?”
Moreover, it is common for her to deal with the tactless comments from other mothers who are insensitive to her plight. From assuming she is taking birth control to comments like “Oh, just enjoy this time without kids,” I have heard mothers make senseless remarks - all to a woman who already feels like a second-class citizen in the Jewish community and, to make matters worse, lives in a world where open conversations on the more complex side of intimacy and childbirth are not-yet fully embraced.
The Mother’s Day message is that every mother should be treated, pampered and praised for her hard work. But what about the rights of women who have tried and tried but are yet to become mothers? They spend every day caring for their husbands and homes – living life with a smile despite the fact that everything reminds them of their void. And yet, there are no celebrations, parties, rituals or membership kits for the involuntarily childless couple.
On today’s day of flowers and Hallmark cards, it is the responsibility of every Jewish mother to recognize the women who are not celebrating but instead riddled with pain. Our duty is obvious. We cannot for a second take for granted our having children. As long as there are women who must undergo the emotionally and physically taxing life of constant doctor visits and treatments – not leaving any stone unturned in their desire to conceive – then motherhood is not a given. More importantly, we must sensitize our minds and hearts to the women who endure infertility in our all-about-the-baby society. We need to adjust our attitude to recognize the reality of infertility for many women among us. And whenever we can, we must give them a voice.
To the woman who struggles with infertility: this Mother’s Day is for you. Not because you have a child, but because, through the experience of your longing, you have a deep understanding of motherhood’s significance that outshines even the greatest mom. There is little that someone can say to provide comfort and friends who are mothers have a limited ability to truly understand your agony. However, just know, we recognize your silence. On this holiday where mothers everywhere are flashing their bright lights, we still see you.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Guru Deepak Chopra and author Alexander Tsiaras explore the science behind the extraordinary relationship mothers and babies share, from conception through the first year of life.
Discuss: When did you feel the bond begin with your baby?
Monday, May 3, 2010
In addition to Mimi's weekly column and mom-related posts, we're growing a foundation of authors who have something to contribute on a consistent (daily, weekly or monthly) basis. Whether personal experiences, opinion on the news or advice for other moms - we want your voice!
One day in school when I was fourteen years old, I chose an alternative to doodling in class, opting instead for the more sophisticated task of transcribing a list of my favorite things. This week, ten years later, I unearthed the two page list, a revealing time capsule of my adolescent mind. Dated Monday May 24th, 2000, the list included the following highlights:
Finishing a good book
Taking a nap in the middle of the day
A perfect hair day
Knowing all the answers
Getting paid after babysitting
Having clothes in my closet with tags on them
Drinking cold water after exercising
Being made a fancy breakfast
A hot shower on a cold morning
Having just turned twenty four, and now married with a baby, I couldn’t help but let the discovery speak volumes about my life today. And as we approach Mother’s Day, the revelation was all too clear.
My how things change (and not just because a strong portion of the list had to do with sleeping)!Walking barefoot is now unsanitary, writing is no longer a hobby but a career and snail mail means bills, not a good read from a pen pal. My luxuriously naïve child mentality has transformed into an overprotective one-track mind void of any of life’s little treasures!
I thought it would be interesting to compose a more updated version of “Mimi’s Favorite Things.” I started churning out some notes: Hearing the baby laugh, going out with my husband, getting the high-chair all clean, rocking the baby to sleep – it was a list of everything and anything having to do with my family, treasuring the moments with my husband and child. Oh no, I thought. My luxuriously naïve child mentality has transformed into an overprotective one-track mind void of any of life’s little treasures!
Could motherhood have taken the place of an abundance of favorites? Has being a mother become my one favorite thing?
Ya, just go on and say it. It’s pathetic. Today’s list of my favorite things is not really a list at all but rather one overarching priority. Anything that falls under that umbrella of motherhood – from a walk in the park to a doctor’s visit – is now my most preferred and enjoyable activity.
One would think my life as a wife and mother has become more complicated and downtrodden with responsibilities - with no room for “favorite things.” But the truth is, there is nothing to mourn. Life has actually become simpler and a whole lot more rewarding by virtue of the fact that I know my guiding priority. No matter what our entire society will say about that, it’s a fact. And I will say it proudly. My natural and intuitive joy is my family, and just knowing that - and recognizing it with confidence, not embarrassment – has made life more pleasurable, worth more than a million favorites. Anything enjoyable beyond experiences with my family– like finishing a book or a perfect hair day - well, that’s just the icing on the beautiful, multi-flavored and oh-so-layered extra-fattening cake. And you know what? I get a deeper satisfaction from my happy family moments than I ever did from any “favorite things” when I was fourteen. As it turns out, it’s better to have one real big and important favorite thing than a two page list of small life-treats.
If you’re a mother, you know it’s true. You can’t have any “favorite things” if your family isn’t happy, healthy and – at the minimum – functioning. No matter what our enjoyable little fixes, once we make the foray into motherhood, it all comes down to our one favorite thing. And the sooner we accept this often unpopular attitude, the more we’ll enjoy the small things in life.
That being said, there are some things I could afford to reinstitute from my list – like sweating after a good exercise, getting paid for all my babysitting (I’d be a millionaires) and, of course, knowing all the answers.